Coupon Anxiety

by Amy Platon

I had my first coupon anxiety dream last night. It was bound to happen, I do treat it like another job. You kind of have to if you want to maximize your deals.

My usual anxiety dreams as they relate to my real job go like this: I arrive at work and my bar is filling up with people and I can’t help them because I have forgotten my shoes. Then in my dream I begin to think that I could go ahead and help them so I don’t get weeded (that’s what we call busy). Yeah I’m willing to serve them anyway, I’m a go-getter that way. Then as I begin to approach the guests I get so self-conscious about not having my shoes, I can’t do it.

So last night, I made a last minute run to the grocery store, and pulled out a BOGO deal from a competitor grocery store. Hubby was with me and so were the kids. I was a little excited because my husband actually could witness how I work. The girl scans the groceries and then tells me “Uh, ma’am.” My eyes meet hers as I realize that I am the Ma’am she is speaking to. “You can’t use this coupon here, we don’t carry this product.”

Now, I’ve used this very coupon at this grocery store in the past, so I know they can do it. And I have a choice. I could argue my point, which my thoroughly embarrassed husband would be mortified over, or I can just suck it up and leave. I chose to leave. And because I didn’t get it out, I was boiling mad over it. I figure, I’ll go to the grocery store that actually placed the ad, after all they deserve the business, they spent the money to run it. Why should I risk my dignity for some teenage checkout girl who is going rogue? (Remember, I’m boiling mad.)

The inconsistencies were pissing me off, because this has happened once before. And then I learned that my neighbor was able to get the deal that they told me couldn’t be done. Ahhhhhh!

I thought about the incident all night. I thought about all the things I would have said if I were alone. I would have gone to the service desk, I would have talked to a manager, but I decide I will write the manager and possibly corporate.

So later on that night I somehow calm myself down, and fall asleep. But it was one of those nights where I was waking up with every turn. You would think I would have been continuing to reel over my grocery store event, but instead, I was in CVS compiling my coupons and going over the addition in my head. I was panicking because I thought my coupons had expired and I didn’t know what date it was. My watch didn’t have the date on it (which it does in real life). But the good news was that I was fully dressed and had my shoes on. Each time I handed the cashier my coupon I panicked that she would tell me I couldn’t use it. Ahhhhhh!

All I can say is that hardcore couponing, isn’t for everyone. You have to be ready to fight, you have to know all the rules (and print them out and keep them on hand) if you want to win. It’s rough (and sometimes embarrassing if you’re holding up the line). It takes dedication and perseverance because the stores are playing it tough cause more people are doing it. But in coupons, I’ve learned that only the strong survive. I’ve been knocked down (twice now) and I’m not too sure I like it.

Maybe I just need a little more training, perhaps a pep talk? What’cha got?