Coupon Anxiety

by Amy Platon

I had my first coupon anxiety dream last night. It was bound to happen, I do treat it like another job. You kind of have to if you want to maximize your deals.

My usual anxiety dreams as they relate to my real job go like this: I arrive at work and my bar is filling up with people and I can’t help them because I have forgotten my shoes. Then in my dream I begin to think that I could go ahead and help them so I don’t get weeded (that’s what we call busy). Yeah I’m willing to serve them anyway, I’m a go-getter that way. Then as I begin to approach the guests I get so self-conscious about not having my shoes, I can’t do it.

So last night, I made a last minute run to the grocery store, and pulled out a BOGO deal from a competitor grocery store. Hubby was with me and so were the kids. I was a little excited because my husband actually could witness how I work. The girl scans the groceries and then tells me “Uh, ma’am.” My eyes meet hers as I realize that I am the Ma’am she is speaking to. “You can’t use this coupon here, we don’t carry this product.”

Now, I’ve used this very coupon at this grocery store in the past, so I know they can do it. And I have a choice. I could argue my point, which my thoroughly embarrassed husband would be mortified over, or I can just suck it up and leave. I chose to leave. And because I didn’t get it out, I was boiling mad over it. I figure, I’ll go to the grocery store that actually placed the ad, after all they deserve the business, they spent the money to run it. Why should I risk my dignity for some teenage checkout girl who is going rogue? (Remember, I’m boiling mad.)

The inconsistencies were pissing me off, because this has happened once before. And then I learned that my neighbor was able to get the deal that they told me couldn’t be done. Ahhhhhh!

I thought about the incident all night. I thought about all the things I would have said if I were alone. I would have gone to the service desk, I would have talked to a manager, but I decide I will write the manager and possibly corporate.

So later on that night I somehow calm myself down, and fall asleep. But it was one of those nights where I was waking up with every turn. You would think I would have been continuing to reel over my grocery store event, but instead, I was in CVS compiling my coupons and going over the addition in my head. I was panicking because I thought my coupons had expired and I didn’t know what date it was. My watch didn’t have the date on it (which it does in real life). But the good news was that I was fully dressed and had my shoes on. Each time I handed the cashier my coupon I panicked that she would tell me I couldn’t use it. Ahhhhhh!

All I can say is that hardcore couponing, isn’t for everyone. You have to be ready to fight, you have to know all the rules (and print them out and keep them on hand) if you want to win. It’s rough (and sometimes embarrassing if you’re holding up the line). It takes dedication and perseverance because the stores are playing it tough cause more people are doing it. But in coupons, I’ve learned that only the strong survive. I’ve been knocked down (twice now) and I’m not too sure I like it.

Maybe I just need a little more training, perhaps a pep talk? What’cha got?

Live Long and Coupon!

By Amy Platon

I was strolling the isles of my grocery store, enjoying my child-free existence and taking my time, reading the labels, searching the deals, when “What do you think of that dog food?” pierced my thoughts.

I turned around. “My dog has lots of allergies and organic food is just too expensive. I was thinking of trying that one too. Have you used it?”

I looked down at what I was holding. It was the Rachael Ray Beefy-something-or-other Bits . “Oh,” I said, “My dog has allergies too so I just give him beef based food, no chicken. He likes this one pretty good. I’m really buying it because I have a $2.00 off coupon for it.” I said as I gestured at my accordion coupon-file.

The lady nodded and then referenced her coupons.

I couldn’t help but admire her system. This, I thought, was a professional. I knew they existed, but I had not seen one in the wild.

My eyes widened as she flipped through her photo album right to her dog food coupon section. Her system was flawless. Everything was displayed and easily accessible. I was in awe. “Wow!” I said. “That’s quite a system you got there!”

She raised her head, “Oh this, yeah, well I have a family of five so I don’t have a choice. I get them from the paper, Internet, and I buy them.” Appropriate, I thought, coupons feel like family to me too. I should get them an album.

Wait, what? “You buy coupons?”

“Yeah. If it’s a product I’ll use, then I’ll buy twenty of the coupons for like four bucks.” Huh, I thought. I always wondered where the really “good ones” got all their coupons.

So, since I was in the presence of a complete expert, I couldn’t help myself but ask, “Do you ever have any problems using two coupons for the BOGO deals here?”

“Oh no.” She said, “If I do, I march right to Marc (the manager) or whoever’s on, Gary, Ross, whoever, and I tell them they need to get their cashiers trained right. I’ve been doing this since this store opened and I know how it goes. Just, that some of the cashiers are new.”

I nodded my head. “My favorite is when they give me the reason why they won’t accept it. Like it’s a new rule or something.”

(I’m referring to what Tracey and I call the rogue cashier. The one who enforces her perceptions on how couponing should go, not what the store endorses. Rogue. I can say it to my guru and she knows just what I mean.)

“Well,” she said, “You get a manager.” It was just the pat on the back-support I needed. It was the pep talk that the coupon sites can’t give. I was so happy to have another couponer in my own grocery store.

Then it occurred to me, what if we had a symbol, a graphic that would signal to others we’re around. You know like when you waive to other boaters, or other Jeep owners, or other red hat ladies; I mean I guess those ladies waive to one another. Right? Or why would they get all dressed up like that? So anyway, I think I have just the symbol! And until my husband can design it for us, I thought we could have a hand signal in the meantime: Spock’s sticky V fingers…Live Long and Coupon!

The question is, should it be the *real* Spock fingers or the one pictured above? Leave your comments!

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Coupon Mania

by Amy Platon

Well, I just got back from a mid-week grocery stop. It was the pinnacle of my coupon experiences thus far. It’s amazing the rush I got at the check out register. Turns out I saved $63 and spent $41 out of pocket. Easy math, I saved sixty percent on my grocery bill.

Wanna know what I bought? Well, two boxes of cereal my husband can’t get enough of. Two boxes, plus two coupons on granola bars (both on BOGO, BTW). I had a competitor coupon for spare ribs at buy1 get 2 free. Another competitor coupon for $5 off $30 or more, and various other highly useful items all on BOGO plus 2 coupons for each.

The best part of this story starts at the check out line. The store was busy and since it is New Years Day, they seemed to be short staffed so I had about two people behind me in line. The cashier, Vyon, dragged my items over the scanner almost in a coma (she had been partying all night and the manager wouldn’t let her call out). Before she got to the last item in my pile, the ribs, I handed her my stack of coupons. “You might want these before you push those through.” I said holding out my paperwork.

She pulled them from me and began looking them over. She scanned in the standard coupons but when she got to the competitor coupons she enlisted the help of her senior cashier, Debbie. She helped Vyon through, and things get on their way, but Debbie was transfixed at the screen. Then said, “Wow, I need to start getting the paper.”

I just smiled, but I’m not gonna lie, my adrenaline was on the run. I was totally high on the list of minuses that kept appearing on my screen. “Where’d you get that coupon?” Came from a man just over my shoulder. He was as amazed as the rest of us (the bagger, Debbie, Vyon who really perked up, and me.)

Now, I know some of the really amazing coupon cutters can do way better than a girl three weeks into the process, but even they can relate to the rush I got that day.

Let me put it another way. It’s like you’re in Vegas and you’re winning really big. A crowd starts to gather and floor managers start becoming aware of you. It’s just like that. You want to watch but you want to run and hide at the same time.

I started to think to myself, “Are you actually gonna let me get away with this Debbie? Isn’t one of you going to try and stop me?”

But once all my coupons were entered, Vyon smiled and said $41.32.

I handed her my cash, and the guy next to me started nodding at his wife. I offered her an apologetic conciliation prize, “I’m kind of addicted.”

I took my receipt as Vyon said, “You’ve saved $63 dollars.” And there it was in my hand. My Oscar, my Golden Globe, my fancy crystal vase, whatever, that receipt represented all my work and effort. And as a Mom, who doesn't get many awards, this one would make the fridge.

“Thank you.” I smiled a really big overwhelming smile.

I pushed my buggy out to my car while taking slow controlled breaths to calm my nerves. And although I don’t get to make any award winning speeches about it, I just had to tell you. I would, however like to thank my grocery store for allowing me this opportunity, and my Guru Tracy for turning me on to this whole world. I would also like to thank Hip2save.com and MoneySavingMom.com for all their helpful hints and endless hours of research and blogging. It’s sites like these that help you know you’re not doing anything illegal, no matter how much like stealing it may seem.

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