The Dr. Is In

by Amy Platon

Advice on stitches removal. Hand the tweezers to your six-year old son.

I see that look of horror on your face. But I mean it.

Lots of good things come out of empowering your kids with real responsibility. The beautiful thing about stitches is that they look so medically important. They look complicated, painful, and even a little gross. But the reality is, that at the end of their term, there are virtually painless. They’re also super simple to extract… only the kids have no idea about that. Let’s face it, my kids think rice crispy treats require culinary skills, and I’m nowhere near bursting that bubble!

So, on to some good ol' fashioned Mommy Magic. I called the whole family into the bathroom. I cut the knot off and I pulled the first two stitches out to show them how it’s done. Then I handed the tweezers off. My son pulled out the next two and my daughter (not enough coordination to use the tweezers) pulled her two out with her fingers.

They were so absorbed in the experience that 1. I trusted them with not just my body but with my boo-boo. 2. It made them feel like doctors (no harm in that). 3. It Dissolved any potential fear about getting stitches, should they need them in the future. And 4. I had them “fix” something on me, that I didn’t scream and cry about.

And believe me, I made that point clear. “See Mommy doesn’t mind letting you help me with my boo-boo. Just like you let me help you with yours.” Ahh yes, I do believe the lights came on about that one!

Don't have any stitches to share? Well next time you get blood drawn, have the kids watch - if you don't scream and cry that is. Or let them put your eye drops in for you. Still not that brave? Let them administer your band-aid then. They'll totally love you for it!

I guess I need some sort of disclosure about this post, just to cover any potential issues, so here goes: I’m no doctor, despite the title. These are merely suggestions from a crazy mom who just wants to take any opportunity to open her children’s eyes a little wider to the world around them. Her stories are for entertainment use only!

But they are true.

Gift of the Magi

by Amy Platon

So remember that skate camp I sent my son to? Well I thought I’d share a beautiful piece of advice that his instructor shared with him. His instructor’s skate name is Magi, hence the title. Wink.

Well Magi told my son that when he tries to learn a new trick, try not to get frustrated. Which is a big expectation for a six year old. But then Magi said this: “You know what I do when I’m not getting a trick? I just go back to a trick that I can do, and do that one for a while so I start feeling good about myself again. Then when I feel good, I try the new trick again.”

Bri-hill-iant!

So, later that day we were at home. My son came downstairs to whine about how he wasn’t getting to the next level of the game he was playing.

I evoked my inner Magi and asked him, “What would Magi do?”

“I don’t know.”

“Magi says to try a different game until you start feeling better about yourself then go back to this game and try again.”

“That’s for skateboarding.”

“No, it’s for everything you do. If you get frustrated, take a break from it and do something you are good at, then try again.”

Pretty good advice for just about anyone, don't you think?

Van's Skate Park

Helloooooooo,

Anyone here? Well I'll just assume you can hear me.

Here go the updates:

My gun shot wound is healing right on time. I'm planning to take out my own stitches, so look for that exciting post on or about August 10th!

I think I might replace the stitches with six bar bell earrings, just cause I think it might work. I don't know. We'll see.

So, I sent my boy off to Skate Camp this week. We are so lucky to have an indoor Van's Skate Park here. He's learning lots of cool tricks. He attempted the vert ramp (half-pipe) and at six years old that thing must look crazy big. For the rest of us it's 13 feet tall. Today they learned about having a good skate attitude.

And here I thought I had to send my kid to karate for good moral values, but we never did karate cause I couldn't get past the irony. Then there's always church, but somehow if you're a kid, it's way cooler getting the good attitude talk from a full grown skate rat aka x-pro skater turned instructor. Dreads, tattoos, and an herb pipe somewhere (totally kidding), he has my sons full an complete respect.

The Van's employees are just so nice. They are so great with the kids (young and older). If you're ever in Orlando, and you like to skate, do check out the park! Even if you don't skate you will enjoy watching from the top deck. It's a bridge style walkway that lets you observe all areas of the park without even touching a board!

Jalapeno Attack

by Amy Platon

So, I haven’t been the same since that jalapeno seed attacked the back of my throat at lunch yesterday. It lodged itself at the top back part and no matter how much I coughed it didn’t help. It burned me and choked me all at the same time. It was awful, and I’m pretty sure I nearly died.

I mean, that jalapeno had my number. I suppose it could have been the anesthesia from the mole I had had removed from my stomach earlier that day. But either way, I was delirious…from something….not self-inflicted.

And, I even asked the nurse if it was ok to work that night. She said it was fine. But unless it was in my chart, I don’t think she knew what I did for a living. Because she didn’t even ask me. What if I was in construction? What if I was a belly dancer? Would I have been able to complete my work duties with a two inch gaping whole in my abdomen that took six stitches to tie back together? I don’t think so! …Fortunately, I’m a bartender. And, I went to work.

But once I got there, my little excision turned into a gun shot wound. As in, when people asked me why I made a squinting face when I bent over or over reached, or bumped the damn thing, (I say it that way cause that’s what sucked the most. When I hit it. Which happened three times.), I said it was my gun shot wound. Why? Because a gun shot wound sounds way more exciting than the real story. And I’m not going to see these people again. They are all traveling business men. And it’s not something I normally do. Lie that is. But, since I am really good with the serious face, and since I totally don’t fit the part of a gun shot wound victim, those business men laughed it off, “Really?”

*Serious Face*

“How’d it happen?”

“Still under investigation.”

“What happened?”

“Can’t talk about it. Don’t want to blow my cover.”

Where did I come up with that one? It may be because ever since the TV show Alias with Jennifer Garner, I’ve secretly wanted to be an under cover special op agent. But I’m blaming it on the jalapeno. Because my throat still hurts a little and because I thought we were friends. Most people hate jalapenos. I never minded them tagging along on my Publix sub. But it’s totally over between us now.

Rejection With Referral

I have received a rejection with referral by Janet Reid! Yipppeeee! See her breakdown here. I really never thought I'd be so happy to get a rejection. I'm totally honored. I'm not sure what this says about my standards.

Thanks anyway Janet Reid. I'm off to search again! Query letter here. Janet got a modified version of the top one.

Oh, and I found a secret little blogspot, if you're a writer and you're looking for a view of the "inside" then do skip over to the the INTERN. It's yummy hardcore advice! Hurry, The intern won't be small time for long. Janet outed her! Lol. I love a good hook-up!

And In Other News: Why Frosted Flakes Rock

by Amy Platon

First and foremost, they’re always there for me - mainly, because it’s the last box of cereal that my kids go for. (Sorry Tony!)

They never complain about the slightly bruised banana that I put on top of them.

They’re always crispy, mainly because the kids don’t eat them. The bag stays nice and folded within the box just the way I left them before!

They work as a breakfast food and as a late night dessert.

AND they are almost always on sale at the grocery store.

Frosted Flakes are totally my MOM fuel!!! They’re Grrrrrreat!

Come Undone

by Amy Platon

They have taken you beyond agony.
There is nothing more they can do.
Come to me.

Mind, go. You need a holiday.
You have carried him so far. Take this time to yourself.
Go somewhere – hide away.

Heart, I will bring you with me, where for the moment you can survive.
We can spend some time together and beg the healing of my eyes.
We can rest beneath the Weeping Willow, though he knows nothing of what we pray.
He’ll offer a communion place for our withering way.

Eyes, you can stare across the lucidity of this lake
just after rain.
Where the ripples hold their breath, like you, motionless, mundane.

Arms, go, escape with the dragonflies that take to flight.
Dream of carrying yourselves away from this sick body into the night.

Feet, warm yourselves in the setting sun.
Lungs, be drunk once more with sweet moist air,
before you come undone.

Faith, hold your strength for the stars that will brighten as they appear.
Hope, you will find a friend in the dandelion that loses her breath in the docile air.
Love, time will not penetrate this place and it too has mastered years of loss.
Body, live for this moment, and be free of fear…

My fingertips race to memorize your skin, as the blood beneath it runs cold. My hands do nothing to warm you…

I trust the moss - will weave you a blanket, above an earth that takes you in…

I will think of you when rain soaks the ground, the way my tears are soaking your hospital gown.

I’m sorry to have to let you go, and with so much more to do…

I melt with you, from this burning wick, as the sun drips beneath the horizon. It is a flat line that deafens me, pulls me back to our reality.

Remember us, as I remember you. Remember the lake, that Willow, that time those hours my loveyourepeacemyhope – Don’t go.