Monday, May 11, 2009

A Beautiful Gift


by Amy Platon

Well it was a great weekend, yay for Mother’s Day. I used to think it was a Hallmark Holiday, but I have a new appreciation for it. My son came home with a beautiful handmade card from school. It had a poem and his hand prints. The best part of the card was how he answered the questions about me. Apparently I have “bage” hair, I’m about 40 years old and I weigh 90 lbs, and my favorite activity is ice skating. Hmm, I’m a native Floridian, and we still live here. We did do some ice skating over Christmas, but “favorite” activity? And for the record, I’m nowhere near 40. At least I think. I’d have to do the math for that one and it’s too early in the morning for all that. I am, however, 90 lbs. (Man, I can’t even say that with a straight face.)

Anyhoo, all this had me thinking, why are all those mistakes so darn cute? And ladies of the mommy sisterhood, I think I’ve got it. And let me start by first saying, I hate the pressure of the idea that requires me to “mold” my child, because that is so inaccurate. Guide, yes. But mold? The truth is that our children have as much right to walk on this earth as the rest of us do. And not necessarily in my footsteps. It is not their responsibility, or ours as parents, to force them to “fit” in with us. Their life is their adventure, and at the most we are observers. (Lucky us!)

So, what about sex, drugs and smoking, right? Well, I lead by example. So when my kids point out that someone is smoking, I say, “Yes, she is smoking. Does mommy smoke?” No. “Do you smoke?” No. “So that person is smoking, but we don’t smoke. Is that right?” Right. And because we have relatives that smoke, I usually remind my children at that time that smoking is addictive just like drugs are very addictive and once someone starts it’s very hard to quit. It’s easier to never start drugs or smoking for that reason. The lesson is that some people do things that we don’t.

So when my daughter came in from playing with her friend who is a boy, to tell me that they were pretending to have boyfriends, I said “Oh, ok.” She turned to me to say, “He’s going to have a boyfriend too. That’s weird right?” I said, “Well, no. Sometimes it happens.” The message isn’t for her to go out and have a same sex relationship, but that she knows:
1. I’m an accepting person.
And
2. What one person does is not what all people do.

The big lesson is that she doesn’t have to fear differences. So when we see other same sex couples out in public, she isn't going to feel confused, scared, or sick over it. It's like sweeping the path.

At the end of the day, the only thing we mothers are responsible for in the growth of our children is to help them find who they really are. To let them grow from the inside out, not the outside in. You know, keep the road clean.

And so, about the card, while being a 90 lb ice skater with beige hair is gift enough, the real gift is why those little mistakes are so beautiful. It's because they are a glimpse of the person my child really is. A glimpse of him just being him and not trying to be the person he is expected to be. Humm, what a beautiful day.

I've listed the lovely blog carnivals I'm participating in at the top right of my scroll bar. Do take a look for more stories from other bloggers there.

More Stories Like This One:
Tales from the Sidelines
Finding My Stride
Swimming In Circles
Still Learning

23 comments:

  1. Can I be 40, 90 lbs & have bage hair?

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  2. Heehee, yeah, come on. It's lots of fun!

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  3. I would say I wanna be 90 pounds too, but the last time I saw that weight was 9th grade. And, ahem, I am 40! :)

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  4. Let me clarify. When I say, "I'm nowhere near 40" I mean I'm 34. So as you can see it is a big exaggeration. I think 40 rocks. But as i said in another post, my memories of my relatives has them all stuck in their 40's. i guess that's why, your parents are "40" for like your entire childhood. And so it has begun......

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  5. Wow. Fantastic post!!

    Thanks for coming by my blog and commenting on my Macro Monday picture.

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  6. A beautiful gift..all love to receive gifts in life....voww,,excellent blog, nice post. I love the contents and thoughts. I am so proud to vote for this beautiful blog. I have recommended your blogs to many friends like Danaty, Freearticle, Fengshui, chinafan, freearticle etc. I expect your valuable suggestions about
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  7. Well said!

    Though I'm not 90 lbs,my little dude did knock 7 years off my age and loves that I "smell like lemon perfume" (hmmm ....maybe too much Pledge lately...)

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  8. I love how kids perceive their parents. That was a great story.

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  9. I love this post.
    You are very well spoken, I love how you explain things to you children.

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  10. This was a very well written post! I really love the way you write.

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  11. I love your insight. Guide is a much better word than mold. (Isn't that what happens when things sit out too long and spoil?) I have had these exact same conversations with my kids. Good job, mom!!

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  12. Lovely post - love what you son wrote about you.

    My daughter wrote me a poem last year for Mothers day, based on her knowledge of me. The opening line was - "My mother is like a lovely bowl of irish stew"!

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  13. Wouldn't it be nice if things really were the way our kids see them?

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  14. I love how you teach your children "we don't do that" while still being accepting of others. You're setting a great example there!

    I'd take being 40 with bage hair if I could be 90 pounds!

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  15. Wow, thank you for all your kind words. It's so encouraging for me. I'm in the land of rejection letters so reading your comments helps me to keep on keepin' on with this publishing adventure I've decided to embark upon.

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  16. You ARE a brilliant mom and we're so glad you stopped by to say hello. I love your writing style!

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  17. I have no idea how I wound up here, but I'm glad I did. I love the way you speak of and to your child.
    Peace!

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  18. I love homemade cards. Happy TT!

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  19. I'm super tardy in responding to Monday's Muse posts...my apologies! Yours was great - I love the way your son sees you 90lbs...gotta love it! I'm impressed with your lessons of tolerance as well...will be following suit when she's old enough to ask these questions. Thank you!

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  20. Hi. I was just surfing around some blogs, and I came across yours. It's pretty nifty and I'm really enjoying my stay here. I've bookmarked your site for daily visits, and I hope you'll visit me. I'd love to have you. :) Have a great day and I'll see you around the blogosphere. :)

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  21. That card is adorable! I love kids and the funny things they say! I don't have any of my own, but I babysit for my friends kids a bit. The last time, I asked the 3 year old how old he thought I was - he said 15 --- haha I'll take it! And as for the bage hair - sometimes when I don't trust my friends to be honest, I'll ask a kid what color my hair is.... if I get blond as an answer, I know i'm ok, if I get brown, I run out for highlights!!

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  22. So sweet. :) And I like your responses to these difficult questions. Good food for thought!

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